Lucky Me

Ok. I don't understand this. 2 pictures, 2 completely different results. Here's my conclusion:

If I've got big round eyes, I'm a woman.

If I've got narrow, "slanty" eyes, I'm an Asian. When I was doing the first time, I was joking with Margie, 'I wouldn't be surprised if I get Yao Ming.' Lo and behold, suckas. Call me prophet Chen.

Happy Anniversary!!

Happy Anniversary, Pernell and Margie!! If 10 years has done this to the two of you, just imagine what another 10 will do!! Here's to the great memories, the tough lessons, and embarassing moments God has brought you through in these last 10 years together. May the next 10 be filled with just as much love, wonder, and excitement for each other and for God. Oh, and thanks for being my friends.

Elusive

It is 4:44am as I sit wide awake writing this post. I originally laid my head down to rest at around 1:15am, only to toss and turn and play poker on my phone for 3 hours. For a third night in a row, sleep has yet again eluded me. I checked the annals of my blog and discovered that I have posted about not being able to sleep before. As I think back to that time when I was unable to sleep and compare it to the situation I find myself in right now, I'm beginning to see a few similarities. Unfortunately, I am unable to divulge what I believe they are, but I think it's safe to say proper courses of action shall be taken very shortly to rectify the situation. Because believe you me, I miss my sleep.

Weekend

Yet another fun filled weekend has come and gone. Here's a quick recap:

Friday:
Did pretty much nothing most of the day. When late afternoon came, I gave Krista a call to let her know I had finished formatting her external hard drive. I must say that I've been having a lot of fun unleashing my inner nerd while here in Hamilton. I bring her stuff over to her, and as my reward, I got to stay for supper and hang out with Madi and Eden. Goodness me, if these two kids get any cuter, my head will most definitely explode. We chilled, chatted, and watched Stuart Little. I didn't realize this, but the person who plays the father in Stuart Little is also the same person who plays the lead character in House. Kinda creepy...but I guess that shows the versatility of Hugh Laurie.

Saturday:
Did pretty mich nothing most of the day...again. In the afternoon, I head out to the Barista party at the cafe. That was a good time. Got to hang out with lots of different peeps, both past, present and perhaps future baristas. Ate AMAZING food made by the Neudorf's, played games, listened to tunes and ordered soap. I must say that Susan and Randy are unbelievably generous and kind who so selflessly gave their time for so many of us. Thanks, Susan and Randy!!

Sunday:
Went to Canada's Wonderland with Jen, Kaelyn and Adrian. It was my first time at Wonderland, and I must say, it was a really great time. Not only were the rides fun, the company, weather, and wait time were tremendously awesome!! I think if I ever go again, it's gonna be at around the same time. Since it was near the end of season, the longest we ever had to wait in line was for 30 minutes, so we tore through the park like bandits. The only bummer of the day was realizing that I'm getting old. I used to be a huge amusement park person when I was younger who would never experience any of the after-affects of rides, but this time round, after all the big rides, I found myself feeling really dizzy. Either way, it was a really great time. Here are some pictures.


Graffiti about Adrian.


This is a picture of a picture from the Fly. After "stealing" this picture, the dude in the booth ran over, put his hand in front of the screen and yelled 'YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!!' To which I replied in a sheepish voice 'Sorry', and quickly ran away.


Jen getting flung around on the motorized swing ride.


Kaelyn striking a pose.


The goofballs chillin' in the cool zone.

Afterwards, we head back to Hamilton for church. It was a great time, during church, as well as hanging out afterwards. A few highlights:
Sitting next to Erin Stanley. What an AMAZING woman. She oozes love and encouragement and excitement.
Getting poked in the arse with a recorder...3 times.
Ordering 6 pizza's online.
Hanging out with new FRWY friends at the Goodyears.
Finding out that many people know the family I stayed with in Mississauga.
Eating some AMAZING brownies.

Overall, I had a fantastic weekend. Will this week give this weekend a run for its money? Probably not, but I shall hold out hope for school to not suck like the hoover it's been these last couple weeks.

Family

For your viewing pleasure, here is a movie I made for my brother and sister in-law for their wedding last August.



Wedding Video on Vimeo

Off To a Bad Start

It is currently 5:46am. I tried going to sleep as early as possible today, which was around midnight. After about an hour and a half, I find myself wide awake, staring off into the night, while the yellow glow from the church sign across the street peeks into my room. I toss and turn and try to fall back asleep, but it is a noble attempt which results in failure. With a full day of class and it being my turn to drive, I have a feeling today is gonna suck. Perhaps instead of lunch, I'll sneak out to my car and catch a quick snooze. Regardless, I'm flippin' tired right now. Hope everyone else slept well. Anyways, have a great day, y'all!!

Hair

Last night, while chatting in the company of Pernell, Margie and Jen, conversation turned to the topic of hair. Originally, I had planned on shaving this bad boy because it's become rather unmanagable as of late. I was thinking of either a flat out shaved head, or getting a mohawk again. In what I consider via hindsight to be a rather choice comment made by Jen, she jokingly grabbed her hair and said to Margie 'Wanna donate to Locks of Love?' To which my internal monologue scoffed and said 'Idiot. You're not gonna do it.' Little did I know that what Jen said that evening has been resonating in my brain like the bells of Notre Dame. What if, instead of shaving it off, I let it keep growing and actually do something useful with it instead of worrying about why this friggin' gel won't keep this crap in place? Hmmm...I think I'm gonna do it. And to Jen Kellner, my internal monologue has told me to apologizes to you on its behalf for accusing you of being an idiot. It has learned the errs of its ways and wishes to extend its deepest apologies through the form of a cherry flavored Ricola herb throat lozenge and a FRWY cookie of your choosing. Anyways, I wanna know what y'all think. Have any of you donated to Locks of Love? Love to hear some stories.

Weekend

Well, it's been a while since I had a weekend that wasn't spent doing something extravagant like writing a paper or traveling. It's actually been really nice to have a weekend what I can say I pretty much did nothing at all, but still had an absolute blast. Quick recap:

Friday: Finished my final 2 papers. Wrote one in the afternoon, went over to the Goodyear's for dinner and a fabulous break, then returned to the cafe. After finishing my last paper, stuck around to help Randy close, then promptly went home. Goofed around for a bit, then got it on with St. Matress. Her and I have some really great times.

Saturday: Woke up at my leisure. I made sure to not set my alarm clock because I wanted my body to get as much sleep as it needed to make up for the beating I gave it these past few weeks. Head over to the Goodyear's to meet Margie and the kids. We leave there shortly after to meet Melissa for a round of mini golf. Get pwned by everyone. Margie got a hole in one...TWICE. Hung out for a bit back at the Goodyear's, then left to have dinner with Rich and Jaci. I must say that these two are absolutely fabulous and adorable people. Not only are they unbelievably hospitable, but they are funny, smart, and undeniably madly in love with one another. Discoveries of the night: Rich is surprisingly romantic and a borderline pimp. Amidst a "rough" exterior and an intimidating fire extinguisher, he's a true gentleman with the heart of gold. Jaci is a fabulous cook who can also bake like no other. Typically, people can do one or the other, but this girl made a meal fit for royalty, and decided to feed a peasant like me. Man alive, how did I get so lucky?

Sunday: Putzed around for most of the morning and early afternoon. Lately I've been having some bad hair days, so decided to start using conditioner in hope of this overgrown head of weeds to be a bit more managable. No dice. Hair 1. Kevin 0. Spend the rest of the evening with some of the best people in the world: FRWYers. After church, a few of us ordered pizza online and had it delivered to the Goodyear's. We watched The Amazing Race while the cohort met in the other room. Afterwards, spent the remainder of the evening chatting with Pernell, Margie and Jen.

All in all, it was a very low key, yet refreshing weekend. What does this week have in store for me? I dunno, but I think I need to get back into the swing of school and start reading some books and doing some assignments.

DONE and DONE

At literally the eleventh hour on Friday, September 15, 2006, I finally finished my final 2 assignments. I am seriosly at the brink of tears right now. I never knew relief could be so intense. With a combination of adrenaline, stress and frustration, I will take this with me outside, scream till I'm hoarse, and sleep for as long as my body will let me in order to recover from what I consider to be the hardest 3 weeks I've ever experienced in my entire time as a Tyndale student. Hopefully I will wake up in the morning. If I do, I look forward to celebrating this monumental achievement of completing 26 assignments with all of you in the form of smiles, hugs, and high five's. Good night, and see you all on the flip side.

One Step Closer to Growing Up

I got the opportunity to take Margie and the kids to school today. Actually, Margie wasn't going to school, but you bet your bottom dollar that she sure wanted to be inside with the kids!! Although Sam and Lucas have already started classes, today was Jake's first day. The morning started off with the best part of waking up: Lucas squashing my junk. Sure beats a good cup of coffee, but if I had a choice, I'd rather go with the coffee. After getting the kids into the car, strapping them in, and driving over to the school, we start walking. Let me tell you, the excitement in these kids!! I don't EVER remember being this excited for school, but apparently the Goodyear clan is a bunch of keeners.

We walk to the door that leads to Jake's classroom and wait for his teacher to come out and collect the children. At this point, all 3 kids are still with us, but shortly after, Luke peaces out, and so does Sam, which leaves me with Margie and Jake. As the teacher come out and starts calling names, Jake's expression begins to change. From the bundle of excitement and joy not 10 minutes earlier to a child finally realizing what's going on. As his name is called, he walks to the door, but not before his mom grabs him, give him a hug and a kiss. Although he's already inside, safe behind school walls, we wait. For what? I'm not sure, but all I know is I need to keep it together and not let this momentus day get the best of me. As we begin to make plans to take off, a familiar face pops out from behind the teacher. It's Jake, who has since changed from a 'deer in the headlights' look to a red faced, teary eyed child waving goodbye to mom. At this point, I knew all bets were off for a "dry goodbye". Margie acknowledges Jake's gentle wave of farewell with a wave goodbye of her own, and slowly turns away. The tears that were on Jake's face begin to appear on Margie's. As I saw this, I was trying to think of what to say, but I knew there were no words in our known english vocabulary to console a fabulous mother crying for her precious child. All I could do was put my arm around her as we walked across a quiet playground back to the car.

I was able to experience something today that I've since only read about or heard stories of. In the narrative story we call the Bible, we are told a story about a parent who loved so much that he was willing to temporarily part ways with his child for the sake of humanity. Up until 9:00am Eastern Standard Time on Thursday, September 14, 2006, I had no idea what it felt like to have to leave a child, even if it was for a short while. Now I do. Now I have an inkling to what it's like to love someone so much that parting ways for a mere 2 hours seems like a lifetime. Today, I caught a glimpse of what selfless love can look like by vicariously living through Margie. Today, with tears in my eyes, I was given another model to follow for when I have my own children. If I can love my children with a fraction of the love Margie has for her kids, I think things will be ok. Thank you, Margie, for letting me be a part of your day today. You've changed me in ways 2 years of seminary could only dream of accomplishing. I will never forget it.

To all the mothers and fathers out there who have brought their children to school, I applaud you for your strength, your love, and your sacrifice. Because of today, I see each of you with a new set of eyes. Thanks for loving your kids, even when we're absolute turd burglars who don't reciprocate nearly the same kind or amount of love.

And to my mom and dad. I'm sure you don't read this, but I want all the world to know that I appreciate you both and love you more than my words and actions lead you to believe. For all that you've sarificed to keep us happy, all the tears that you've shed because of how I've hurt you, all the late nights of staying up worrying because I forget to call home, and all the arguments I've instigated because of my stubbornness, I thank you for continuing to love me regardless of my shortcomings and selfishness. I love you both so much, and even though I don't tell you that enough, I hope that one day I can. I hope that someday, somehow, I can love you back with a fraction of the love you've shown me over the years. I love you mom and dad.

Gratitude

Finished paper #22. Will the prof give me grace? Can I get a passing grade with 2 assignments outstanding? We'll see. Either way, I'm done. My head hurts, I think I've caught a cold, and I'm physically, mentally and emotionally drained. Sleep is on my mind right now, but before I go, I want to thank each and everyone one of you who has given me words of encouragement when I wanted to give up, feelings of empathy when I was having a hard time, and hugs of comfort when I thought that I was for sure not gonna make it through the summer. It is because of you that I was able to make it this far. From papers on community, to reflections on God's gender, you have been my sources if inspiration and desire to finish everything. From a humbled Yankee Mexicasian, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love, compassion, motivation and genuine desire to see me live just a bit longer. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!

***UPDATE*** After talking to my prof and explaining my situation of falling 2 papers short, he said I have till Friday to complete the papers. I also asked him where I stood as is with 2 outstanding assignments. I more gentler words, he said 'you're screwed, son.' I guess the busyness continues, friends.

So Close...Yet So Far

A few seconds ago, and not a moment sooner, I finished paper number 23 of 26. If I want to achieve my goal, I've got 3 more papers to do tomorrow, but I don't know how much motivation I've got left. This summer's been one intense marathon of academics meeting life, and I'm getting tired of running. In all honesty, I think I've got MAYBE one more paper left in me. I've been talking to one of my buddies who's in the same program I'm in and he had a genius idea. Since these last 3 papers are for the same course, perhaps one option is to talk with the prof and see if I'd still pass if I did the biggest of the 3 papers and rely on course participation and my dashingly good looks to get me a passing grade. Hopefully that'll work out. If not, I'm gonna be like the Chicago Bulls and R-E-P-E-A-T. Come Wednesday, we'll see what happens.

Stereotyping

I don't own a television, so whenever I'm back in Detroit, I typically get my fill of TV. Last night, I was watching the investigative journalism show 20/20 that airs on the ABC television network. One of their pieces was entitled ‘Hollywood’s Stereotypes: Does What We See On The Screen Affect What we Think Of People?’ When I saw this, I thought to myself 'Hmmm...Intriguing. I wonder what they have to say.' Let me tell you, after watching it, I found myself feeling rather upset, both at the media and at myself. Let me quickly summarize:

Italians = Gangsters and Mobsters
Arab Americans = Terrorists
Asian Americans = Doctors, Nerds, Kung Fu Specialists

One of the actors they interviewed was Daniel Dae Kim, one of the cast members on the TV show 'Lost'. Something he said, albeit absolutely hilarious, was also absolutely spot on. And I quote:

"Hollywood stereotypes Asian American actors, relegating them to certain roles. We've been portrayed as inscrutable villains and asexualized kind of eunuchs."

After this piece, my mind was cluttered with all these questions.

'Whenever I use my FOB accent, am I setting my people back for the sake of a cheap laugh at my expense?'

'Does my joking perpetuate this stereotyping? Is it possible to take a joke too far where it becomes more offensive than funny?'

'How am I making active steps in breaking free/redeeming us from the stereotypes the media has portrayed us to be?'

In lieu of this, I think back to the conversations I've had with my good friend Gideon on the need to redeem our Asian American culture and heritage from this incessant habit of stereotyping. Case in point: Chisai Jackson, a musician who has performed at the FRWY. From what Randy has told me, when he used his real name, he couldn't get his foot in the door. But when he started using the name 'Chisai Jackson', things started happening, except when he met with different exec's, they couldn't understand why he, as an Asian, didn't "sound" Asian, and didn't have an "Asian name". (Please don't take this as a knock on Chisai. I don't know him, nor have I heard much of his music, but I am simply commenting on the way things seem to work in our day and age.) When Randy told me this story, seriously, I started fuming. WTF?!?!?!?! Now Asians have a particular sound to them? And what sound may that be? Something NOT white?

As I was working a papers on Worship and the Trinity, I started thinking about this again, which led my thought to the FRWY. I love this community. The people, the vision, the willingness to experiment and rethink what a Christ follower could look like in Hamilton, as well as the refusal to remain status quo. On that note, it's "fun" being the token Asian, but I'm sure that I didn't sign up for an Alpha Course photo op. If being a missional community means to reflect the community at large, a la, Beasley, then is it too much of a stretch to say that our definition of being missional is incomplete when we have a token anything? I mean, if all we have is a negro and a chink in a sea of whiteys, then we've got a long way to go. But here's the problem: I don't know where to start. Am I alone on this one? I really hope not, cuz I'm starting to feel really lonely.

Help.

**EDIT** After feeling like I shortchanged Chisai's story, I found this interview on his MySpace. It's him telling his story. It has seriously inspired me. Check it out.


Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Blah, Blah, Blah

An imaginary conversation with myself that happened in my head today:

Hey Kevin, whatcha up to these days?
Writing papers, baby.
Is that it? Have you gotten chance to do much of anything else lately?
Nope. Writing papers.
Really? That's sad.
You're tellin' me, dude.

Granted, this conversation was fictitious, but that's kinda how I feel. For the past couple months, it seems like all I've done is write papers. Although I have nobody to blame but myself for my propensity to procrastinate, I wish I had gone down the other path of getting these papers done on time so I wouldn't have to be feeling what I'm feeling right now: A blend of resentment, pressure, anxiety, and stress, all due to these papers. I think the only thing getting me through this is knowing that I started this summer with 26 papers and am down to 6. Some have been commending me for getting so many done, but the fact of the matter is even if I've got 1 left, I still haven't accomplished my goal and may have to face the firing squad come next Wednesday.

The junkiest thing is there are some assignments that I think could be really great papers to research and write about, but because of the lack of time, I have to make due with what I've got. And since I've been staring at my computer screen so long, every thought that finds its way into the word document seems like a drawn out conversation with Charlie Brown's teacher, where it's more noise than anything coherent.

What, Mrs. Donovan? This reseach paper is about the gender of God?
[wah wah wah wah wah wah wah]
I see. Well, what if we take into consideration the fact that in the Hebrew language, the definite article 'It' does not exist, so everything is either a 'He' or a 'She'.
[wah wah wah wah wah wah wah]
I understand, but here's the thing. The titles for God are all masculine, but the spirit of God is feminine. What does that say about the gender of God? Does God have both a penis and a vagina, or neither at all?
[WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH!!!!!!!!!]
Sorry, Mrs. Donovan. I won't talk like that anymore.
[wah wah wah wah wah wah wah]
Ok, Mrs. Donovan. I'll go wash my mouth out with soap.


You may be asking 'Well, what's the worst that can happen if you don't finish these papers by next Wednesday?' I'll tell you what'll happen. I'm gonna have to repeat these courses because I will have received a friggin' F for the courses I haven't completed the assignments for. And honestly, I don't have the benjamins, nor the desire to repeat anything, although it'll be more reason for me to stick around Canada as a student...

Anyways, I'm currently in the basement of the FRWY packing up my crap and getting ready to step out in front of a bus in the hopes of finding temporary relief from my misery. Do you think Tyndale will give me an extension if I'm in a full body cast? I guess we'll have to wait and see, won't we?

Famous

She's been gone for a little over a week, and my favorite Italian has already made it into the London paper. What's next? Class president? Prime minister? Either way, thought I'd provide proof to y'all that she's still alive. But still, doesn't make up for that fact that I SO miss her and wished that she was back in the Hammer.

Sister-in-Law

Is it weird that I really miss my sister in law? It not one of those Jerry Springer relationships, but we honestly have some of the greatest conversations. I just got off the phone and with her and we talked as if we've known each other for years and years, but she's only been married to my younger bro for a little over a year. We talked about serious stuff, different bits of drama happening in both our lives, family things, life things, all the while ebbing and flowing between being serious and being funny. Honestly, I feel absolutely comfortable dropping the 'in-law' part and calling her my sister, cuz that's how I really feel about her. To my favorite sister, Liz, you absolutely rock, and I'm so glad that we're family.

Ms. Burleigh, Grade 1

This past Thursday, I had the privilege of riding into Mississauga Melissa Burleigh. She had to go into school to prepare for some stuff, and I had a meeting with my spiritual director. I drop her off at her school, and I take off for a library to kill one of my papers before my meeting. Later on in the afternoon, I go back and pick her up to head back to Hamilton. I get here a little bit early, so I decide to go inside. As I walk in, I see a sign that says 'Visitors must stop at the office', to which I acknowledge, but completely ignore. I meander around the school like a pervert on a prowl, looking for Melissa. I eventually find her and check out her room. Let me just say that these kids DEFINITELY have a fantastic teacher. I took a few pics of her room. It made me wish I was back in grade 1 again.






Unfortunately, this last picture is affirmation that I'm probably not welcome back anytime in the near future.

Holiday

I spent the weekend up in Cottage Country. I've never been there before, so didn't know what to expect. Fortunately, I was with really great people, so it was a wonderful experiences. A few memorable experiences:

* Multiple paddle boat rides, one of which was at 9 O'Clock in the evening. With only the moonlight and a monster flashlight, saw a whole bunch of bats flying around. A couple got really close, which caused us to periodically freak out.

* Hella good eats.

* Movies indoors while the rain watered outdoors.

* Walks around the forest in search of bears.

* Campfire. Nuf said.

* Incorrectly chopping wood that brought me 2 inches away from cutting off my own leg.

* Lounging around the dock, sipping beverages, eating cheetos, and reading.

* Writing a paper and bringing my assignment count down to 8.

* Getting pwned by mosquitos.

* Learning that I am probably the most gullible camper in the world. Example:
The italics is my part of the conversation.
'Are there sharks?'
'Yea, small little fresh water ones.'
'Really?!'
(muffled laughter)'Yup.'
'Woah.'
'Are you serious? There aren't any sharks!'

* Putting my foot in my mouth more times than I care to remember.

* Learning that I can be really insensitive with my words and body language to people who are tremendously caring.

Overall, it was a really great experience. Being the internet junkie I am, I didn't crave the net, nor was I itching to check my email, shop for shoes, or check the sports scores. Who knows, maybe there's a place for Cottage Country in my heart after all.